About Partners and Doulas

Happy Dad and his new baby girl

One of the most common concerns families have when they are considering hiring a doula is:

“Will a doula replace the role of my partner?”

And my emphatic answer is always “Not in any way.”

Regardless of the role the partner wants to play during birth or postpartum, a doula will never replace the importance of the their presence. Partners have a special relationship with the new mother and know her better than any other person on the birth team. They can provide a hug, a kiss, and those special loving words of encouragement that will help a mother during labor or postpartum. They share the journey that brings their child into the world together.

On the other hand, partners do not always feel comfortable with the medical aspect of birth and postpartum. They may not know what questions to ask, or how to deal with the emotions that surround birth and postpartum. They are usually not breastfeeding or baby experts. They may be exhausted and overwhelmed themselves.

As a doula, my role is to assess the needs of each family, and provide encouragement, physical support, information, and reassurance. Sometimes a doula plays the “background” role in providing gentle suggestions to the mother’s partner so that they can provide her primary support. Sometimes a doula takes on a more active role which allows the partner to just be themselves. They can relax and get to know their new baby without pressure to be the expert!

As a doula, I do not replace anyone on the team, I am an added person to your team.

Resources for Partners:

Does a doula really make a difference?
Families report having a postpartum doula improved breastfeeding outcomes, increased their confidence as parents, helped them get better sleep, and improved their emotions, including reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety.